OKAY SO I had a coworker who was otherwise a standard clueless Straight White Guy, but this dude loved his wife and he knew her real good. And his wife LOVES shitty grocery store icing. So the first thing she’d always do with any cake is shove her fingers into the corner and scoop off whatever abomination of a flower was on there and eat it off her fingers.
SO THIS DUDE GOES TO THE STORE AND HAS THEM MAKE A WHOLE CAKE OUT OF FROSTING Brings it home to his wife for her birthday She shoves her fingers into it and then they just keep going FROSTING ALL THE WAY DOWN He said the look on her face was the best thing he’d ever seen in his life It gives me hope that even a clueless Straight White Guy knew and loved his wife enough to give her the perfect birthday present cake frosting abomination
And I love to imagine the conversation he had to have with the grocery store bakery.
will tes vi have actually decent foot modeling or will the foot fetishists have to step in to pick up the slack again
lest we forget
those are his hooves you b*tch
HEY HEY HEY WHOA WHOA DO YOU
MOTHERFUCKERS
EVEN KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT FOOT MODELING??? LET ME LEARN YOU LITTLE BITCHES A THING RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW
IT IS ONE OF THE HARDEST JOBS OF
Apud Helvetios longe nobilissimus fuit et ditissimus Orgetorix. Is M.
Messala, [et P.] M. Pisone consulibus regni cupiditate inductus
coniurationem nobilitatis fecit et civitati persuasit ut de finibus suis
cum omnibus copiis exirent: perfacile esse, cum virtute omnibus
praestarent, totius Galliae imperio potiri. Id hoc facilius iis
persuasit, quod undique loci natura Helvetii continentur: una ex parte
flumine Rheno latissimo atque altissimo, qui agrum Helvetium a Germanis
dividit; altera ex parte monte Iura altissimo, qui est inter Sequanos et
Helvetios; tertia lacu Lemanno et flumine Rhodano, qui provinciam
nostram ab Helvetiis dividit. His rebus fiebat ut et minus late
vagarentur et minus facile finitimis bellum inferre possent; qua ex
parte homines bellandi cupidi magno dolore adficiebantur. Pro
multitudine autem hominum et pro gloria belli atque fortitudinis
angustos se fines habere arbitrabantur, qui in longitudinem milia
passuum CCXL, in latitudinem CLXXX patebant.
man this dude was so heated they regressed to their past life as caesar, scourge of gaul
are you sure?
i like how this post hit peak tumblr post formatting in under 500 notes
i imagine getting my own place all the time and going down to the grocery store early in the morning before everyone else and to the coffee shop and having a really small place with wide windows and lots of plants and shelves of books and a tiny kitchen where i can make tea and noodles and a bed with a pile of blankets and just a place i can make uniquely my own or maybe a place i could share with someone but i just think about this place a lot idk
One of my professors is an extremely famous, well-known painter who has been in galleries since he was a young man in the 80s. He once asked me in class, “Alyssa, what are your dreams and aspirations for the future?”
You should have seen the puzzled look on his face when I described something similar to the post above.
“Why so humble?!” He laughed. “You know you’re talented, right? You could aspire to a lot more than that for sure.”
And I had to take that moment to explain to him that this is what my generation is given, this is how low our standards for happiness have to be. A humble existence, a small piece of the world for ourselves, and comfortable stability are just as out of reach for some of us as fame and reknown was for him in the 80’s. His face went somber immediately.
I reblogged to much to let it go away in like a day?? 