biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

pudding-gremlin:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

asteamingdumpsterfire:

beowulf22121:

whyisthisreality:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

Me: *is mild-to-moderately inconvenienced*

Me: leaving the womb was a mistake

Me: *is greatly inconvienienced*

Me: this is totally fine, perfectly normal, if its a problem this is my fault haha

Major issue: If I ignore it, it will go away.

Minor inconvenience: *Putting up fists in fighting stance* CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

Major issue: Maybe I can sleep it off.

Minor inconvenience: COME AT ME, BITCH! I WILL SMITE YOU!!

we take on the battles we think we can win

why do you always say the wisest shit on random fucking shitposts??

marketing strategy 

hotcommunist:

woman holstering knife in her garter

monkey brain: that’s unsafe and if she squats down or climbs it’ll stab her

galaxy lesbian brain: hurrrghhhhhhfkddk woman knife hot

spud-scribbles:

Iruka’s not crying, you’re crying

suckindeathsdick:

meanexwife:

meanexwife:

hey fellas last night i took a medication which is more or less the anxiety equivalent of a horse tranquilizer & essentially enterred the fifth dimension of sleepwalking in which i awoke but enterred a dissociative fit so strong i was really confused why my loving girlfriend was not my good friend and fellow viking bjorn, who i had to bring some furs to. also i might’ve cried about this. don’t remember

was informed i left out the best part of this 3am experience which was the bit where i, in tears, gestured to our dog and shouted, “i don’t know what this is!”

bruh you astral planed so hard you fell back into a past life

the-suburban-craft: